Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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