Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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