I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
