Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
