Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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