I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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