Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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