Sponge bath it is.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
