it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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