Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
