YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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