you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
