I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
