the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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