honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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