took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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