He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
