I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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