its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize