:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
