I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
