I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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