Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
a search helicopter?!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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