Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
