What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Randomize
