You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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