While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
