Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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