He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
