he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize