On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
only you would photoshop your dick
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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