What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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