my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
