He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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