I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
