do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
