Don't make out with my wife yet
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
