Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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