went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
