im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
