Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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