is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
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Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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