I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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