Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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