Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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