Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
