You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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