Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize