I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
