Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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