hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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