To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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