hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize