If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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