True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
