Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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