Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
