I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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