eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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