the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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