i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
