you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
