just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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